kristin has been a bad kristin
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
