Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
