Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
