We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
