..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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