I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize