Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
