last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
