Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
