I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize