let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
