I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
