I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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