Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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