I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
