I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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