What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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