You work out of a Hotel?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
