Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
