I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she smelled like a LAN party
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
