So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
