I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize