turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
