My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Threesome in a minivan. New low
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
