She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
