you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
