Soap is not a condiment
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
