Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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