This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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