I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
