I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
