this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can I color on your dick again?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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