How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
