just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize