So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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