Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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