Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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