Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
