I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
