I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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