We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
