no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
All I want is dick and wine.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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