I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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