Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
