I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I looked at my own cervix.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
