Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
