4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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