Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
