Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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