No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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