I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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