you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
