I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
