I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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