Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
