seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
