Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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