In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize