9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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