the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
