i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
