In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
