my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
