Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
