Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
